I'm an AP...but I still don't understand how...?

some AP's cannot seem to accept the fact that no matter how wonderful they are as parents, the child is always going to feel a loss in their life if they don't have contact with their firstfamilies. I see this time and time again with many different questions. I am NOT saying it is all AP's, because I know there are some here who are wonderfully educated and willing to be what the child needs... To the others: What is preventing you from seeing that your child NEEDS to feel their loss...and then God willing...hopefully begin to deal/heal?